It seems that there are very few women I know who do not have bad relationships with men. A lot of my friends are married, but at least half of them are unhappily so. I’m not sure why so many have so many problems, but it seems that this is the topic of at least half of our conversations. There seems to be a huge break down in communications between the sexes. It’s not all the fault of the men either, as women play just a big a role in this problem.
One friend in particular is having a horrible time with her relationships with men. She and her husband are pretty much roommates, and even years of marriage counseling have not helped them any. Her relationships with men have always been rocky, even though she is one of the sweetest people I know. I think she may have a problem speaking up for herself, and this is half of the problem. When problems are unknown and kept silent, the man has no way to try to work it out, if that is what he wants to do. Even her male friendships are strained.
There are some who say the way you deal with relationships with men as an adult are a direct result of your relationship with your father when you were a child. I don’t know if this is true, but it does make a lot of sense. I have read that those who did not get the attention they needed from the men in their lives while growing up will go on to seek relationships with men that are not healthy. They may not be as choosy when deciding upon a partner, and this means they will take the first man that comes along. We all know that is not always the best idea.
Now that I have a daughter of my own, I think about my own relationships with men, and how to make sure she is getting what she needs. I don’t want to her think she needs to have a man to make herself feel complete, and I don’t want her jumping into bad relationships with men just because she thinks she needs to have one around. I want her to be full all by herself so when she decides to be with someone, it is because he treats her well, respects her, and loves her dearly, not because she thinks she needs someone, anyone.
